How the Spankos Find Me (that’s you!)

I got this idea from Bonnie at My Bottom Smarts – It’s a round-up of the search terms that people have used over the last three months to find my blog, and how unusual some of them are. Yeah, and I’ll make a few snarky comments along the way.

The most common search term is “lesbian caning,” followed closely by “spanking stories f/f” and “f/f spanking stories.” I’m a lesbian, and I write stories about spanking and caning. I’m easy to find on my blog, Twitter and facebook. Other common search terms are “bentalice” and “Alice Dark.” I’m so flattered!

English: Bettie Page spanking a tied-up woman

English: Bettie Page spanking a tied-up woman (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m happy to say that three people found me by searching for “morning spanking.” What a delightful way to wake up! I can imagine the delight in Sophia’s eyes when I wake her up that way tomorrow!

Another three-timer was “spanking england.” A lot of the folks who visit my blog – and particularly those interested in caning – are the readers from the UK. Proud to have you, sisters and brothers! Let me lay a cane across the collective backsides of your beautiful country!

Okay. Natalie Portman is beautiful, and I’d love to spank her myself. Apparently, so would some of you, as “natalie portman caning,” “natalie spanking,” “natalie gets a spanking pdf full,” “spanking stories natalie,” “natalie’s tears spanking,” “spanking natalie portman stories,” “natalie portman spanked on the bare” and “natalie gets a spanking” all come in high on the list.

I thought this one a little unusual – “spanked in church -youtube” – until I remembered my own misspent youth. Yes, I’ve been spanked in church; but then, I was raised Catholic. And you can expect some spankings (and paddlings!) from the nuns.

“whip cane paddle and femdom nurse stories” makes me want to rethink some of my writings. I think getting spanked by a nurse dressed in a starched white uniform is hot! And maybe, just maybe, I’ll get Sophia to try on a uniform just to give this fantasy some life!

Okay. Nothing to do with spanking. Which one of you searched for “url shortener” and found my site?

People stumbling across using foreign words is common, though other than a Korean phrase for Femdom (펨돔클럽), I don’t tag my stories as such. So, how did someone find me using “jean de virgans?”

I don’t spank plants. I spank girls – especially Sophia. So “rumble roses spank” has me a little baffled, but pleased. There’s something lovely in that search term.

I want to know this submissive: “every friday night i get spanking, caneing and a milking” It sounds like a wonderful life!

Here’s a phrase that I’ll add to my search terms, because I like it so much: “bad girls bend at the waist” But if you’ve followed me on Twitter, or read this blog, you know that I believe in spanking both the good and the bad girls!

My Catholic upbringing tends to lead me to enjoy spanking girls who are wearing plaid skirts. I’ve written lots of stories about spanking 18- and 19-year-old schoolgirls, hence “spanking canning whipping teen plaid skirt” and “spanked caned whipped women plaid skirt” don’t surprise me at all.

“latex-femdom” All I can say about that is *O Hell Yes*

There was a lot of interest in my quick look at getting your partner interested in spanking, as there were many variations on “how to introduct spanking to your relationship” and “introducing your sub to spanking”

This search term, “mom spanks the naughty woman next door,” gives me an idea for a story!

Okay. So is there a fetish of which I’m not aware: “get spank in the tree” I’ve pulled switches from trees to whip folks, but I’ve never actually spanked someone in a tree!

“every spank kindled her” Yes. Spanking Sophia gets her motor running!

Oddly enough, I’m writing a story now that involves chastity belts, so “infernal device chastity -occasional” is actually predictive. I hope that story done by early January 2013.

“they spank with hand, and with hairbrush until kat and karina are left with red, sore bottoms” Really? All I can say is wow!

This one was odd, in that it’s appears to be a Twitter ID – “@mastersignusnov”

Nope. I don’t have any of these online, “wethousemaids pics,” but I think I might want to see some myself!

Some requests are very specific: “domestic spanking stories meeting mrs for a severe hairbrush spanking over her left knee” Hmm. The left knee. I never really gave that much thought till now. This other search – “” – is also quite specific. And it sounds like fun!

Lots of searches for Bettie Page, such as “tumblr+betti+page+nudes” and “bettie page spanking comics” There are two Bettie comics on my site. Go get them! Here is the second one and Here is the first one.

Here’s another story that I want to write: “corsets stepford wife discipline” Doesn’t that sound positively decadent?

That’s all for now, my dears. It’s fun knowing that so many of you have just stumbled across my site with such a wide variety of terms! And I have to say thank you once again to Bonnie. I got the idea of filtering through search terms by reading her excellent blog.

Now go home and introduce erotic spanking to your partner!

18 responses to “How the Spankos Find Me (that’s you!)

  1. So how do you do this? How do you find out the search terms? I’m so lame at this, but this is fascinating to me.

  2. Jason Darrick | @JasonDarrick

    Latex femdom wins for me, every time!

  3. However they get to one’s blog is a good thing!

  4. I totally do; especially the type that includes a very stiff bared-heinie caning! Only problem,…(so sad)…there is no woman to give it right now! But not to worry, tomorrow is another day!

  5. Do you ever write any F/m Spankings related stuff! From the above I noticed you seem more into F/f than any other spanking genre! I am particular partial to the idea of a guy getting it really good from a gal!

    • Hi Spencer! Thanks for the comment. As to F/m spanking … well, I’ve come close in The Dominatrix and The Cheerleader, but I haven’t yet written a full-on F/m story yet. It’s on my agenda. I’ve just got so many memories to work from! And yes … I had a boyfriend once, years ago, and I spanked him. It was fun!

      • Spencer Masoch

        Hi Alice!

        Thanks for your reply! I wasn’t sure if you would be open to writing F/m spanking stories, since you are now a lesbian! But from my experience of watching many, many, F/m spanking videos, I have come to the realization that both lesbian and bisexual ladies, are often some of the hardest, most elegant, and most skillful F/m spankers out there. I will therefore wait with bated breath for your planned F/m spanking novel or short stories, I believe that with the marriage of your past experiences, great literary talent, powerful imagination, and delicious new sexual orientation (for I deeply love lesbian and bi women), you will serve up quite an unforgetable erotic reading treat!

        It’s so sad you probably don’t need a live male caning (or other-type spanking) dummy, to fire up your literary muse, and get those creative juices flowing, for I would have been willing to volunteer for some sweet caning practice dummy service! Lol (ha, ha, ha)! Bye for now and take care!


      • Today’s fragment is in honor of you, Spencer. I think it’s almost time for me to break out the cane and lay into a boy’s butt. I may even be able to talk Sophia into having a go at it.

        Like I said – I had a boyfriend years ago, and we played some spanking games. But Sophia has never had a boyfriend … never been with a boy. It could be a new experience!

        In any case, that fragment comes from another story that I’ve toyed with off and on. I can develop it. I just need to be in the right frame of mind. And that frame of mind usually comes from spanking my girlfriend. So when Sophia’s butt is bright red, I’m telling her it was your idea.


      • Spencer Masoch

        Aaaww! I’m so honored by that Alice! …Thanks an awful lot! Now I’m so jealous of the lucky boy you are going to cane; oh how I wish it was me! 😦 … And to think the lucky dude is going to get it from two stunning beauties (no less), working in alluring tandem to stripe his naughty bottom. Wouldn’t that for most spankaholic males, be a dream made in Spanking Heaven?

        Yes it would be so wonderful for Sophia to start her initial interaction with boys, by applying long, good, strong doses of that ever trustworthy disciplinary assistant Madame La Canne, to her first boy’s richly deserving backside. It will show her a side of boys that even straight gals, do not always see. Namely that steadily sorer, redder, warmer, and increasingly more tender side of us; which grows ever rounder (and more gracefully feminine), as a Lady patiently sculpts it via the hard application of her cane (oh that ever so handy spanking scapel) into new shape, and it swells and blossoms under her swishy caning attentions, into a form that is much more amenable to female company!

        Oh the beautiful bluish-purple-red sculptures, of the daughters of the ever maiden (and some say very Sapphic) Artemis! The bluish-black dripping red moons of Astarte; molded melodically from heated, pliable, gluteal flesh to the tune of gentle gasps, soft moans, quiet groans, and heartfelt sobs; which later on rise in volume to a crescendo of gurgling groans, tremulous quavering sobs, rougher deeply-sighing remorseful gasps, bravely strangled cacaphonic screams, plaintive audibly contrite moans, and finally openly shameless shrieking cries! Fiery-hot striated globes of oven-hot chastized male flesh; shapened sternly by cruel female hands, to the tenderizing rhythms of hard, swishy ‘rattan-ny’ wood, colliding with ruthless authoritative ferocity, upon with soft, vulnerable, well-presented, upturned, and blood-weepingly repentant, very tearfully reddened male bottoms!

        What a joy it would be Alice; where you and maiden Sophia, to take the clay of these glutes of mine, and mold it with severe caning rigor, into a masterpiece of female spanking dominance! That’s why I’m so green with envy, for the lucky unsuspecting boy, whose globes of pristine corporeal clay, will soon dance to the ecstatically excruciating duet of the Alice-Sophia Caning Symphonies! Please I beg of you Alice that you and Sophia will save for me, at least one Concerto; namely the agonizingly exquisite “Caning in D (for Dragon) – Major!” Lol!

        All jokes and caning poetry aside though dear Alice, I truly do wish I was the very lucky boy you had in mind! Please cane this lucky dude really hard for me, and I wish you and Sophia blissfully red cane swishing times! And please do remember to share the tale of these butt-striping adventures with your eager fans! I am therefore waiting with bated breath, for your recount of this young man’s unforgetable pain-filled dialogue with two strict avenging ladies, and their gracefully feline interogator, Madame La Canne; who bitingly helped him over many a white-hot butt-baking hour, into finally confessing his many sinful occassions of sexual harrassing, and/or recently attempting to sexually harrass young women. Relentlessly this very bad boy with many butt-searching questions, until he finally earned brightly welted caning absolution, from the formidable Alice Dark – BentAlice and her eminently capable partner Sophia!

      • You have a delightful style of writing, Spencer, and I love the poetry. Certainly, as you noted later, the errors need to be scrubbed from the copy – but I’m sure a good caning would help you along with such matters. 🙂

        I do enjoy what you’ve done with the language, and I think to honor that, I will incorporate the name “Spencer” in an upcoming story. It will be a way to remind ourselves of the pleasure you’ve brought this day.

      • Spencer Masoch

        Thanks for the kind compliment Alice! Coming from an accomplished and published author like you, it really means a lot (and I am blushing so furiously right now)! Therefore let me quickly go […Spencer vigorously fans his flushed face…] find a needle to prick this rapidly swelling balloon of a head of mine (It has swollen to thrice its normal size with joy and inordinate pride, ha, ha, ha!), otherwise you and Sophia may just have to very soundly cane some excess air out of it, eh? 🙂

        Indeed dear Alice, 🙂 I fully agree that a good stiff caning will do wonders for my spelling, grammar, and composition (not to mention other disciplinary related issues I have)! Back in those good old days of my very strict Catholic Boarding School; when I still had problems with mathematics (and even further back at home, when my mother still used to teach me my arithmetic and supervise the completion of my Homework Assignments), jolly good Madam Cane kept me prim, proper, and quite on point. And regular (frequent) doses of her fiery biting kisses, not only ensured that I tended to sit up straight in class (without slouching) like any well brought up young man should, but also made sure that my writing, and performance in other school subjects, was top notch!

        Alas now see what a prolonged overseas trip (from the discipline-starved land of my naughty backside) by the redoubtable Madam Cane, has wrought! 😦 This formerly competent lad, has now sadly grown so lazy and sloppy in his ways! Not to worry though dear Lady Alice Dark; it is nothing that a good regimen of long overdue “Caning Therapy” cannot fix, and the ‘bright red day’ surely approaches, when either you, the good Dr. Sophia Spanks, or some other fine female Discipline Therapist will prescribe for me, this much needed course of treatment!

        I attended several Catholic Schools in Africa, while growing up, and therein learned an intimate (and unforgetable) acquaintance with the very tender ways of Madam Cane. Where if you don’t mind me asking, did you attend your Catholic Boarding School? Where your canings given not only by schoolteachers, but also by cruel school prefects, and/or other harsh senior students; like mine were?

        And yes for sure, please feel free to use my moniker Spencer, for any character in your stories. I am both humbled and honored that you would consider including me in your literary works. You have been such a delight and inspiration to me since I recently discovered you on Twitter, and when I do start writing stories, don’t be surprised if you recognize something of yourself in them. I will not name my characters directly after you though, unless you give me clear permission to!

        My full scene name is Spencer Masoch! 🙂 Can you guess what inspired me, to choose this combination of names? I am sure you will understand, when you think on it. Thank once again fo your compliment, and literary encouraging (although I think another form of motivation (lol) will do wonders for the realization of my hopes for a future literary career)! It is an honor and a privilege, to know both you and your creative works.

        Please give my regards to your Sophia! And tell her that I am both sorry, and yet extraordinarily happy for her that our correspondence so far, has inspired you to consider giving her a new series butt-reddening situations. Namely painfully sweet heinie-striping situations, wherein she finds herself located alternately, at both “ends of the stick”! 🙂

  6. Sorry for the distracting typos above! I actually meant to type:

    “…colliding with ruthless authoritative ferocity, upon … soft, vulnerable, well-presented, upturned, and blood-weepingly repentant,…” [i.e. skip the misplaced word “…with…”]

    “…and I wish you and Sophia, blissfully red cane-swishing times!…”

    “…Relentlessly … plying … this very bad boy with many butt-searching questions, until he finally earned brightly welted caning absolution,…” [i.e. add the missing word “…plying…”]

  7. I do – but I’m a guy – does that matter too much?

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